Body image is a weird thing. I figure you basically have two camps: the skinny = beauty camp (we’ll refer to as “SKIBUT” pronounced “skee-butt”), and the love your body no matter the size camp (from here on out referred to as LYBNMS, pronounced “lib-nims”) . There is a small group who promotes health and fitness as a way of life, but they’re boring and non-controversial, so no one gives a shit about them.
From the first time we have an issue attracting a partner we’re told to have lots of self confidence and our body shape won’t matter, that the gender we desire will be attracted to our confidence. Well that’s just not fucking true, is it? Stereotypically “beautiful” people who have others fawning all over them often have terrible self esteem. But you’ll never see someone telling them “oh, why can’t you just be happy?” because their physical beauty seems to outshine any emotional fallacy they may have.
In America this is a problem that crosses all gender lines. Everyone has or has had some sort of body image issue. Women are told we aren’t thin enough, men are told they’re too hairy, and trans people often hear both. The LYBNMS group would have us believe that we just need to love ourselves, to have self confidence in our bodies and go out to places and do things we’d do at a socially “acceptable” size and not worry about the weird looks we get from normal people. LYBNMS generally promote the idea that fat does not equal unhealthy. SKIBUT’s argue back that fat is evil, and generally always linked to disease when found in excess.
But both the LYBNMS’ and the SKIBUT’s are missing the point. This is the real enemy:
Giraffes. The tallest, skinniest, biggest doe eyed, longest legged, most defined necked mother fuckers on the planet. Just by existing it is obvious they MUST have an agenda against humanity. They exist simply to mock humanity’s idea of beauty by displaying what we find attractive to an extreme. Not to mention their tongues are the envy of porn stars and Gene Simmons’ the world over! Supermodels strive and starve daily to obtain this level of beauty, and sometimes even die trying!
So I say ban Giraffes! Let the LYBNMS’ and SKIBUT’s come together on this issue. The tyranny has gone on long enough!
With Shark Week and Finals looming, let’s see what crazy things Sally has done so far today:
- Sent her boss a crazy IM freaking out over an unreasonable request from the accounting department
- Screamed at the head tech support guy (which caused him to inform her to “quit taking it so personal” - the grammar and attitude of which inflamed craziness even more)
- Cried in a bathroom stall (spent 5 minutes washing mascara from face)
- Whined to reddit about the whole situation
- Is now posting a bullet point list illustrating her craziness narrating it from the 3rd person perspective. Awesome.
Work ends at 5pm. I am going to go home, buy a bottle of wine and a giant bar of dark chocolate, smoke a bowl, eat & drink previously mentioned food, and watch Game of Thrones.
Start Weight Week 1: 191
Current Weight: 184.2
Only lost two lbs this week. I know that’s “healthy” weight loss and all, but it’s nerve wracking to see my weight consistently go down at home and not at work. The scale here weighed me 4 lbs heavier less than an hour after I had weighed in the same clothing at home.
I finally landed a date with someone on OkCupid who fits the majority of my ideal man wish-list! The qualities I’m looking for that he has:
- An Atheist
- Has dark hair
- Has facial hair
- Has a dog
- Has an appreciation for sarcasm similar to mine
- Likes to text
- Has a full time job
- Owns his own vehicle
- Is a reasonable height to width ratio
One would think these would not be difficult things to find in a person, but you’d be surprised. I constantly get messaged from people who list their religion as “Christian and somewhat serious about it” despite my profile clearly listing “Atheist and very serious about it.”
Could it be that men don’t read my profile?!? GASP AND AWE!
I miss the old days of OkCupid. They used to have a way to filter who could send you messages (by age and match %). Back in the days when “visitors” was actually called “stalkers” - because lets face it, that’s what it is. Look at someones profile like their house. If you visit my house 10 times a day, that is no longer just visiting.
Down 2 lbs this week, which isn’t too horrible considering work has been crazy and my diet has been unmanageable on this schedule. I ate pretty badly Wednesday & Thursday, so I’m happy to have lost at all.
My start weight 3/16 - 191.0 lbs
My current weight 4/6 - 186.2 lbs
A bit sad we’re 3 weeks in and I’ve only lost 5 lbs. Since I have nothing pending this upcoming week (no parties, no events, no odd hours at work) I am going to try to dedicate myself to diet, exercise, and school.