Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the latest in Singles-Awareness: The half cart.
You may have noticed this invading your local grocery store. I’m not sure where they began. All I know is that they are just big enough for my weekly food purchases, plus a bag of cat litter, leaving no room for my dignity. Some part of me would like to believe that because of this cart I will meet an equally single man shopping for beer and steak and whatever else men shop for, we will laugh at our tiny carts, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately this has not yet occurred due to the fact that I practically run away from any attractive male who makes eye contact with me.
I have one big complaint about these carts: You can’t ride them. They’re too tiny, too light. Sure, they keep you from over shopping (you can only fit so many jars of Nutella into one of these babies), but they just aren’t fun. I for one look forward to the day that grocers realize that people who are single over 25 are in that state because we’re actually gigantic children. Give me a cart that looks like a car to drive around your store. Screw this tiny-half-cart and it’s practicality.
