Countdown to the Big Three O

RIP MCA.

While I am a fan of the Beastie Boys and am saddened by the death of Adam Yauch, that’s not why I chose the title above.

I really do think I’m losing my mind this time. This weekend I performed my usual “good granddaughter” act and baby sat my grandma and great aunt (both of who live with my parents) so my Mom & Dad could go on vacation. They’re due back any time now. Mom left me some spending money (well, babysitting money) as reimbursement for my time and gas spent coming out here (I live about 80 miles away from them). I would have come out anyways, but I’m not going to argue when someone gives me money. 

But I digress. A normal person would have said “oh, a decent amount of money. I shall put it into my bank account.” However, I learned recently that I’ve lost enough weight to fit in a juniors size 13 (US)!

So I spent all of my monies, plus some more, on new clothes. I also have a weird obsession with the scent of the men’s cologne department in Macy’s. It smells delicious and sexy and awesome. I figured I was having a good day, so I might as well look for the source of this awesome smell so I could wear it daily. Because I’m the type of lady who wear’s dudes cologne. That’s how I roll.

Of course, it was this:

For the record, dude readers, this scent will get you into ladies pants like that. Seriously, spend the $60, and get tons of proverbial pussy. 

So, yeah, bought a bunch of clothes, new cologne, yada yada. Went back to parents house. Verified old ladies were ok, proceeded to do nothing. Because I am a sad woman who dresses up, buys shit, then goes home to old people.

Fed the grandmas, watched some movies, went to bed. Woke up filled with guilt and self hate and regret. Because that’s also how I roll.

So I got up, tossed the dogs out (there are 3 of them, I’ll post pics at some point), fed the Grandmas, and fed myself. Sadly. 

I moped around. Made the Grandmas lunches, which they promptly rejected. Went upstairs and moped in front of the tv. Eventually my mother called.

She told me to go outside and take a walk. It’d be good for me! Maybe if I’d join some kind of club or group, I’d make new friends! I just need to find something I’m interested in. Because apparently working 50 hours a week plus going to school part time aren’t enough. 

Since then she’s proceeded to send me texts of plans for her own “bucket list” all day. Lucky, lucky me. 

Naturally, this warranted a trip to DQ for one of these:

Cause hey, I like fudge, and I’m from Georgia. And who needs to be a size 13 in Juniors when you have no friends and everyone hates you?

I moped a while longer, and eventually got a text from a boy from OkCupid I’ve been chatting with.

We chatted a little and he asked me out for drinks tonight. I was going to be lazy and not bother taking a shower or being even remotely human today, but now I will.

And that’s probably a good thing.